Why Doesn’t He Like Me Back? 18 Most Common Reasons and How To Deal With Them

Unfortunately it’s not always how you want it to be. You might be into some guy but for some reason he’s just not into you. You’ll first give him little hints about how you feel (not telling him bluntly) and expect him to do the same but even with this effort it seems that this guy is either not getting it or isn’t into you.

Usually, the best option would be to get over him and move on, since he’s obviously not able to see what’s in front of his face and why should you care if he’s missing out on something so wonderful (you)?

Unfortunately, sometimes things aren’t as easy so you’d feel a lot better if you knew exactly why this is happening. It’s true that all guys are different but often enough, it’s going to be down to one of the following 18 reasons.

1.       You’re trying too hard to have him

In your attempts to seduce this one particular man you might come of as very needy. This is a major turn off for men especially if they believe that they can have you at any given time. Men love the chase so it’s best to let them do the chasing… give him little hints but never go for him all the way as that will push him away.

2.       He knows he can have you

This is a huge turn-off for guys. A man knows he “has” you when 2 things happen. 1)You’re available all the time; 2)when you let him KNOW that you want him badly. I don’t know what is it with most men but when they know they can have you, they lose interest.

You can resolve this by giving him the constant impression that you are seeing someone else and that you’ve always got a full schedule. I know this may be hard to do because all you want is to spend as much time with him but RESIST your desires in order for things to progress smoothly.

3.       You’re Not His Kind of Girl

Many times women get offended when a guy just doesn’t like her. It doesn’t matter what it is, you may just not be the right girl for him. Don’t let this get to you and certainly DO NOT CHANGE for any guy. Move on until the right one comes by.

To help you get through this, think of all the guys you dated but just didn’t like for whatever reason – see, it’s the same with us.

4.       He Only Sees You As A Friend

In your presence, does this guy talk about other girls he likes? Does he give you details about his conquests? When this happens it’s obvious that you two are just friends. He may have put you in the friend zone but it’s also possible that you declined his initial advancements and allowed for the relationship to evolve like this, only to later discover that you actually like him.

5.       He’s Into Someone Else

You can’t expect to instantly notice if he’s a quality guy and sometimes you notice it too late. Know that he may be already infatuated by someone else or he might even be in a committed relationship. If this is the case, give it time as things might change in your favor but ideally you should move on.

6.       He’s Not Sexually Into You

If you’ve been friends for a long time, it’s quite possible that the image of you naked has faded away from his mind. If you see him getting excited about other women, but not you, it may mean that he’s not sexually attracted to you. You can put this to the test by dressing up and showing some skin, if he reacts, it’s good but if he doesn’t, it means that he looks at you as a friend and can’t picture anything happening.

7.       He thinks you’re not compatible

Think about yourself here…are there some things you desperately need to have in any potential mate? We’ll men think in the same way. It may be that for whatever reason you just aren’t ticking those boxes so, if you want to know more about this particular issue, try to ask about what he’s looking for in a woman. Is the woman he is describing you? If not, then you’ve got your answer.

8.       He’s Gay

As funny as this may seem, it actually happens a lot. The world is full of closeted gays that get girlfriends (and even marry) to fit in. Don’t feel offended by this because it’s not in any way you’re fault, as the saying goes “All the good guys are gay”.

9.       He’s Got Unreasonable Standards

There are men on this planet who think they are so great that only supermodels are worth being their girlfriends. If this is the case, forget about this douche bag, sooner or later he’s going to realize the mistake he made and you’ll see him come crawling back to you…when this happens, treat him as he did you.

10.   Family Influence

He may like you, but his family or close friends might not approve. If this is the case, forget about this guy as he’s not a real man anyway.

11.   Religious and Spiritual Views

Even in this day and age there are people who stand true to their religious views. This may not be his central reason (as people can convert) but topped off with other reasons it will stop him from dating you.

12.   He’s Not Ready For A Relationship

Many women don’t understand this but some of us men have a way of knowing almost instantly if a girl is relationship material. The moment we identify her as that we have to decide, do we want to have a relationship right now? Or do we want to keep on having fun? If relationship is not for your particular guy then don’t worry about him and go find one that is.

13.   He Has No Idea That You Like Him

Remember those subtle hints that we discussed earlier? Well he might not be getting them. You can make things easier for him if you move from subtle hints to actual words that express your feelings. Don’t tell him that you’re in love with him, but be flirty and tell him that you like this and that about him.

14.   You’re Freaking Him Out

If you’re with him day in day out, holding on to his arm, breathing his air and genuinely suffocating him with your affection, then you might actually be freaking the guy out. Personally, this is my type of woman – it might be down to some sort of mommy issues – but not all guys are like me so try to control yourself and appear less infatuated if you want him to notice you.

15.   There’s Some Age Between You

You might think that this guy is great but if you’re only 18 and he’s 28 chances are he’s not going to be interested. Regardless of what you think you know about life, sex, relationships, to him you’re going to be a kid. Usually guys that date much younger girls (18-21) are guys that can’t date girls his age. That should tell you a lot…

If it’s the other way around, often times guys ask themselves the question…why is she still single at 35? Something must be wrong there… and that often turns them off

16.   He Needs Time

This one is very common with “great catches”. Usually guys that understand what a relationship implies and how to treat a woman etc are also the guys that run companies and have demanding jobs (let’s call them smarter…guys).

A guy like this has some very clear priorities. Unfortunately in most cases, relationships and love come second before his new company, career and other “more important” things in his life. If you’ve got a guy like this, you can either trick him into a relationship (which will be a very imbalanced relationship, at least until his company/career gets to where it should be – which could take forever) or leave him on the spot and go search for a guy that has time to properly cherish you.

Many of these guys are and will be married to their careers their whole life. They may seem great from the outside but once you get inside, you’ll see that many of the things that make a relationship great, are probably missing from your life.

17.   He Thinks Hot Girls Aren’t Good Girlfriends

A very common misconception amongst “weak” males. Because they rarely have the chance to be in the presence of a gorgeous woman, they automatically assume beautiful women are not worth it. This is usually down to the fact that he hasn’t had much success with a woman like you and as a result he feels a sort of hate towards you. Forget about this looser and get yourself a real man!

18.   He’s Scared To Ask You Out

Again, in my personal opinion, if a man can’t prove his role as a man, then he isn’t a man. Thus, if a guy can’t ask you out because he’s scared, to unsure about himself yada yada yada then he’s not a good man for you.

However, if you’re feelings for him are so strong that you simply must have this man, despite him having weak characteristics, then do the proper “WOMANLY” thing and ask him out yourself. Do know that if you had to be the one that asked him out, your relationship will pretty much be the same….as in you’re the one that does all the doing.

In conclusion, the above are very common reasons why any particular guy might not be into you, or might give you the impression that he isn’t into you. Ideally, if your potential guy is doing any of these, the best thing you can do is forget about him since there’s plenty of other guys out there that are ready to give you want you want!

Join over 25,000 women and RECEIVE my FREE eBook “How To Take The Single Out Of Single Woman” + free email newsletter and updates.

*I hate spam as much as you do. Your email address will never be shared or rented.

19 comments… add one

  • Kenzie

    I like a guy but he’s in to his best friend what do I do

    • Ellie

      well if you really liked him then you would let him go and if he comes back he is yours and if he dosen’t he is hers! However if you REALLY (eg. You cant bare to be away from him, you cry at night because it hurts not to be with him and its like your heart explodes with butterfly’s whenever you see him or he texts or messages you) like him then you should drop hints and flirt but if this annoys him or his friend lots then lay off. This guy likes his best friend which isn’t good as it could ruin a perfect friendship! Watching your love, love someone else is one of the most painful things to witness… I know the emptiness! Hope this helps xoxoxox

      • Talia

        I like a guy who I recently met through other family. I’ve tried lots of online advice and I get the feeling that if he liked me I would just know, no matter how modest he was about it. Would you agree with this view or am I wrong? I don’t know if mine is the most appropriate situation- there is a slight age gap between us.

        • Alex Matlock

          If he likes you then yes, he should let you know. However, you also need to create opportunities in which he can do that, opportunities which will let him know that trying something with you, won’t result in failure.

          • Talia

            Thanks for replying. I’m just a bit scared of rejection I guess and so don’t want to be too obvious about my feelings for him and then discover that he has no interest in me. How can I subtly let him know how I feel without being too obvious?

  • Jill

    So, I’ve read your other articles too. And there’s this guy (obviously hahaa) and well, I’m stuck. I met him through work. Not too much of an age difference. Just two years. And he flirts with me. Comes to talk to me while I work and check to make sure I’m okay and if I need anything. He always uses direct eye contact with me, and he’s always smiling. I keep a good balance of being mysterious. I’m very sweet, if I can say so myself. And I don’t act mean or rude around him. He was interested in one of the other girls I work with, and she didn’t want anything serious. So I donw really know much about that. All I know is he’s giving me all these signals, like noticing when I change my hair, smiling, going out of his way to talk to me, etc. What do you think? Does it seem like he’s interested? Or could he still have feelings for her?

  • Mady

    My ex boyfriend is in love with this girl. But it seems like everyone’s in love with her. But he still always looks back at me. But he barley looks at me. I really do love him. I cry and I can’t stop looking at him. But I remember one day in tech class we sat by each other and we joked and laughed and he hit his head on a piece of wood and we never talked or even smiled this much ever! But it seems like day by day he likes me less or not even at all. I NEED HELP!
    He is not the type of guy who texts and he is kinda shy. But I wanna know what to do how do I find out if he still loves me.

  • Kat Green

    I can’t pass him……….

  • ApplePavlova

    I fall in love with my best guy friends. He urges me to be frank about my feelings towards him. I told him everything, about my feelings. We always spending time together, just two of us. And sometimes hang out together, and i just confessed. He just say thank you because he have a gf!I might think he like me but he is in a relationship or what? I dont know. But he always want to checking my phone, text messages. He said he wont dare to confess to me back because he is afraid he is playing on his gf heart. He told me we just friends. A buddies. He always tell me about his gf. But the way he ask me to go out with me, the way he said he wont dare to confess back made me think did he loves me too but hes in a relationship or what? I need an answer!

  • ApplePavlova

    He also told me he loves his gf and he said he did all this as a friend. But im still confused. Did he loves me?

  • Lisa

    Apple, if he says he loves his gf then cut all contact with him. You’re worth more than that,

  • Theresa

    I had a very hard time believing in love magic spells so i felt strange even clicking on any spell site. The term love spells seemed silly to me normally but after seeing Priest Ajigar’s e-mail on a trusted blog, it made a great deal of sense. I literally thought there was no way I could have my lover back. Well, after contacting Doctor agba he gave me a lot of confidence and told me he would help me bring back the man I thought I had lost forever in just 48 hours. It was very surprising how my lover started calling me to tell me how much he missed and can’t live without me after Priest Ajigar had helped me cast a very powerful spell. I count myself very lucky to have ever found Priest Ajigar’s email and to have even had the courage of contacting him for help.Priest Ajigar didn’t tell me exactly what I wanted to hear like 99% of other spell casters will do. He was very sincere with me, this was what really shocked me and made me believe he was real. Thank you so much Priest Ajigar for your marvelous work. His e-mail is;priestajigarspells@live.com just so maybe you need a good and sincere spell caster.

  • Connie Marr

    Hi. I met this man at church & at first he was so very helpful, very talkative and seemed to be everywhere I went. I didn’t really pay too much attention to him at first, but somewhere down the line I started liking him the more I talked to him. I found myseld being very attracted to him. After that, the more I talked to him, the harder it was for both of us to communicate (we both got very nervous, studdered, blushed, etc.). Somewhere down the line, he just stopped talking to me. He barely says hi, but he sits close to me in church. He says hi to everyone else but me. I jokingly told a little boy who borrowed my phone to ‘tell my boyfriend to call me back later if he calls’. (I don’t have a boyfriend & it’s an inside joke with my friends & I… ‘OH Yeah, I don’t have a boyfriend’). I don’t think he heard the ‘I don’t have a boyfriend part’. I don’t know why he went from one extreme to another. I don’t think I did anything to him, atleast not intentionally. I am not going to chase him or beg him. But I am so attracted to him and I thought he was too at first. Should I just let it go? Thank you.

  • amanda

    I resently done a course at my kids school the tutor is well hot I’m 37 he’s only 24 he used to look at me a lot we almost would start staring at each other at the same time most of the time one would look away from the other when we caught each other looking at one another when we used to talk he would use constant eye contact . One day I was late for my course and when I turned up he had this great big smile on he’s face he was so happy to see me . He once grab my wrist as I was walking past him we got on really well the only thing is he has a girlfriend and lives with her I’m confused to he’s feelings does he like me do you go with your gut feeling cos my gut feeling tells me he likes me

  • Janet

    I love this guy in my class at Uni, and I kind of made it really obvious… He used to be a really fun guy to hang out with, but he just gets weird when I’m around, lately. And we’ve spoken about this, but he says everything’s fine. Also, he mentioned once that he hopes he isn’t leading me on. But after all these obvious signs that there’s nothing between us, I overheard him telling our friends that he wants to ask me out, but is scared(Which is weird, because he’s pretty popular with women). I’d shared a lot about my past with him as a friend, and a lot of it isn’t pleasant stuff… Is it worth waiting for a man who could possibly reject you for your past?

  • Leah

    My gf just broke up with me yesterday saying she never had feelings for me and that she’s just confused with her sexuality (i’m a girl too) but I dont think any girl would let herself get kissed so passionately when she doesn’t have feelings with the other, right? I dont think she would kiss me like that too. And cry because she didn’t want to break up. I think her parents just wanted her to say that to hurt me and to hate her. I dont know if I’m just assuming or this is her true feelings. Please help..

  • sam

    i have told him i love him he said he knows and he said he doesnt love me i cant stop loving him i love him so much

  • Mimi

    I really like this guy i met about a month ago. We have met up a few times, on our 3rd date we kissed. I thought that was good since he said he really liked it. Later on we met up and i tried to kiss him again (he turned his face away saying he had a sore throat). We havnt really gone on another date since then. We still txt and he comes around my work sometimes, but has mentioned anything about us. I dont know what to think. Plx help me figure him out!

  • L

    Hey, I’m into this guy who has ADHD, thus always lost in the clouds. He is aware of my feelings and told me that he can’t be committed due to ADHD and just wants to “chill” with me. I’ve asked if we were friends and he said no. His friends always have a wide smile whenever they see me. It seems as if we were a couple (even our conversations are “couple-like”). When I text him or call him, he would never reply or answer. But each time I’d see him, he would always ask me to call him. Is it really just an ADHD problem or is it more of an interest problem?

Leave a Comment